Pauline Matthews Dip Couns. MBACP

Rape, childhood sexual abuse, emotional, physical and sexual abuse.   

Abuse occurs when people mistreat or misuse other people, showing no concern for their integrity or innate worth as individuals, and in a manner that degrades their well being. Abusers frequently are interested in controlling their victims. They use abusive behaviors to manipulate their victims into submission or compliance with their will.

Abuse is a very emotive subject and one which people may find almost impossible to talk about. I have worked with Victim Support and had special training in dealing with victims of rape and other sexual abuse. Some people have only come to me after many years of 'holding on' to their 'secret'. It is becoming apparent that abuse is something like an iceberg, only about 20% is visible and the other 80% still hidden from view.

 Abuse is a commonplace event in modern times, taking on many different forms, including physical, sexual, emotional, and verbal abuse, occurring in many different contexts, including the home (domestic violence, spouse rape, incest), the workplace (sexual harassment), and in institutional (elder abuse, bullying) and religious and community (hate crime) settings. It touches victims across the lifespan from children through elders. Abuse is a serious social and cultural problem affecting everyone whether as a victim of abuse, a perpetrator, a friend or confidant of an abused person looking for ways to be helpful, or simply as someone who is angered by injustice and wants to work for positive change.

Some of our family history is not a source of either discussion, understanding, or pride. Until recently, spanking or whipping children was a common controlling technique. Additionally, it was not uncommon for husbands to beat wives.

Sexual abuse of children is a grim fact of life in our society. It is more common than most people realise. Some surveys say that at least 1 out of 5 women and 1 out of 10 men recall sexual abuse in childhood.

Psychological or verbal aggression by either party must be considered an early warning sign  that physical abuse is possible in the near future. A person who is easily enraged, engages in frequent jealous acts, and has a family history of abusive relationships must take careful note of his high potential to become a batterer.

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