Pauline Matthews Dip Couns. MBACP

Grief, anxiety, stress, depression, mid-life crisis, low self-esteem, self-harm, sexual identity, race and discrimination, personal growth.  

These are things that crop up in everyone's life from time to time. Usually we can deal with them but sometimes it seems as though they are piling up into a huge mound and we are disappearing under the pile with no way out.

Anxiety and stress are both necessary in our lives to a certain extent. But our lives are being lived faster and faster and we expect more of ourselves all the time. We can go into stress over-load and cease to function efficiently. Some people are happy to give so much of themselves they forget who they are and live through the expectations of others.

Unfortunately it isn't always obvious when we are taking on too much in our lives, so we can slow down or begin to say 'No'. Talking things over with a counsellor can make it a whole lot clearer so we can see where we can make life easier for ourselves

Grief and loss come to all of us and we are not always able to handle them with the thought they need. We may not have others close to us to share the troubled times. Indeed we may not be able to talk to anyone about our innermost feelings especially not those close to us. It may be easier to talk to someone we don't know such as a counsellor.

A mid-life crisis can make people realise that their lives are passing them by and give them the feeling that they haven't achieved much of what they dreamed of in their youth. They may feel useless and lacking in visions of the future. This might be made to feel worse by retirement or redundancy or the children leaving home.

I am very aware that all these things may exist together or separately and may feed off each other. Low self-esteem can be caused by a mid-life crisis or might cause one. On the other hand, low self-esteem may have existed in someone from a very early age and can only be negated by exploring early life with a therapist. Self harm can exist in many forms and usually the person who self-harms will have very low-esteem.

Sexual identity may be a problem. Either a person isn't sure about their personal identity ;or not happy with 'coming out' and doesn't know how to do this and would like to talk it over with someone who doesn't judge them before it is made 'public'.

Unfortunately, even living in the 21st century, discrimination is present and is something many people have to learn to live with. Maybe some help others to understand....

Anyone who works through counselling sessions will enable themselves to appreciate personal growth. People don't have to have major problems to wish to do this, just a need to get to know themselves better so that when problems crop up they are better able to deal with them.

To return to the home page click on  Home